In S1 of the L word (Ep 103),, Alice, Bet and Shane have to see if Laura, the girl Dana likes, is gay. So, they go to the Planet where Laura works and do...the checklist.Well, it might sound stereotypical, but who's never checked on a girl?
Therefore, that's the secret recipe, our check-list.
Ok, we are not that stupid to believe that everybody fits in it, but it works quite well, at least for us.
Let's just say that maybe you're less alone that you think, just have a look around you a bit more carefully...
Our CHECK-LIST
body
clothes
accessories
shoes
habits
BODY
Nails - short with no nail polish
Hair style: Terri Jones type (from The British reality series Shipwrecked: Battle of the Islands )/ punky / mohican /shaved / boyish / Shane type (from The L word)
Makeup - none but some wear dark eye make up
Perfume - none, no un-neccesary cosmetics used
Straightners/hairspray etc - none
Hair gel or wax - loads
CLOTHES
Colours - dark especially black or a clash of different colourful clothes
Shirts - very gay! They are boyish, short or long sleved and white/black
Vests - very gay! Especially black but can also be any shade of blue, red, white - most other colours but not pink.
Long sleved tops - high necked, plain, dark in colour or with a large print on the chest
T-shirts - polo shirts/ baggy t-shirts/ stripes
Underwear - boxers, stripey socks, sports bras - no lacey underwear or thongs
Trousers - baggy/ sporty ('Adidas')/ military/ huge, ripped jeans which fall below the arse to show the boxers.
Shorts - long, baggy, sporty
Jackets - cropped (black/grey/brown), smart with collars, practical and warm, body warmer, hoodie (zipped and not)
ACCESSORIES
nothing delicate absolutely no shiny stuff !
Necklace - tight around the neck/beads/chunky chain
Bracelet - leather, studded, chunky
Rings - none or chunky thumb ring
No earrings/uneven earrings
Peircings - eyebrow especially but also lip, top of ear and sometimes nose but not the belly button!
Tatoos - fems have none but proper dykie lesbians have loads. Typically stars on the wrists, large tatoos on the shoulders and upper back.
Belts - chunky, dark in colour, big buckles. typically 'Bench' or the H&M style where the loose end hangs downs at the end. The difference beteen gay and straight belts is that we use them to kinda hold up our jeans whereas straight just tie them round their waist.
Bags - side bags, back packs which are really practical and have loads or pockets and zips (can be black, blue, brown, grey, dark green not pink or white!) - No hand bags!
Sunglasses - big and dark lensed - not delicate
Hats - Almost all types from winter woolies to caps and trendy boyish hats
Hair accessories - bandanas - no hair clips/clasps or girie hair ties
SHOES (practical)
Trainers - converse (original black and white boots), flat shoes (Vans/Gola/DCs type)
Boots - Dr.martins, Hiking boots, Caterpillar etc - no girley furry boots or knee high boots with heels
Sandals - Chunky and flat - No heels, delicate strappy sandals or flip flops.
Basically gays wear practical shoes and straights wear impractical, painful expensive shoes which damage your feet and fall apart.
HABITS
Food
Vegetarians/Vegans (tofu/humous/avacado etc)
OR
total Meat lovers (Roast dinner/English breakfast/bacon roll/McDonalds/Subway/rack of pork ribs)
Really healthy or complete junk addicts
Drinks
Pints of beer - very gay!
Red wine
Vodka
Whiskey
Coke
Redbull
Coffee
Apple juice?
Soya milk
Water
Milk and milk shakes (yazoo)
No alcopops, archers, malibu, baileys, spritzers, lemonade
Basically gay girls drink hard drinks and straights drink delicate/sweet ones
smoking
Absolutely non smokers OR heavy smokers
Sport
Football - very gay!
rugby, basketball, rock climbing, swimming, running, cycling
pool, cards
Shops
Cult, Schuch, TK Maxx, Topman
Magazines
Diva, G3, 3sixty, The Pink Paper
Coming soon...
The check list for the Italian crowd!
A final note
You're welcome to put it in the bin, disagree with it, use it or add stuff and improve it.